I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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