I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
