me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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