I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
i need some magic done to my vagina
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
