Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
