Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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