Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
