U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
