quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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