Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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