That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
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