Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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