I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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