Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
