the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
