so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
