it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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