can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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