her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
