You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
