I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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