So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
