I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize