I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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