the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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