Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
