I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
