I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
