He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
