Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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