i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
