im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
