if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
