I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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