Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
