He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
