Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
