so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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