did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
