someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize