Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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