Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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