I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
