I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
even my farts smell like vagina
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
