i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize