So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
