you turned your livingroom into a bong?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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