Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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