where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize