Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So many bounce houses so little time
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
