The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I want her autograph on my taint
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
