okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
