I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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