That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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