I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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