The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
